SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Witches in Yoga Pants, your cozy corner of the cosmos, where modern magic meets everyday life. We're here to explore magic, mindfulness, and personal growth with a grounded, no-fluff vibe. Whether you're into moon rituals, tarot spreads, or just trying to survive Mercury retrograde, you are in the right place. So get ready to disrupt some old patterns, explore what it means to reclaim your power and remember who you really are. So pull up your yoga mat, light a candle, and let's get into it. Welcome back. Today I'm joined by Shayla De Jesus, spiritual teacher, psychic medium from Psychic Shine. Welcome back, Shayla. I'm so excited to have you here.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

I am so excited to be here with you.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Awesome. Today we're going to expand on a conversation that we had a while back that you brought to attention around people in our world, especially clients for you know healers, showing up as mirrors in our lives and how we can navigate that. So I thought that would be a fun conversation today.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

So people who mirror us, what our relationships reveal about ourselves. Yeah. Let's dig in.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Yeah. So one thing I want to say that I'll start with it's really easy to write. You know that statement like advice given is advice needed. Right? Take your own advice.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

But I think that exists because of the mirroring that humanity can do for one another.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Like I think that comes from real practice of when we are in need of something and we go to someone, then they might not be able to give us what what they need or what you need. However, there is something you get to have by being seen in need.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Right. And then if the person has advice to give you, most of the time they're giving you advice from their experience because they are either in it or have been in it and haven't fully processed it yet. And that's why you're even going to them to begin with, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Sure. And and I might add to that, they they may not be in it themselves, but they may have a a series of people who they have seen be in it too. As you know, so that's another possibility with that.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Totally.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Yeah. No, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

So I'll point out, like as a practitioner, right? And I and I think this is kind of how our conversation evolved. It was how our conversation evolved. Yeah. We'll start there and then and then we'll broaden that out.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

I love that. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

But I when my mom was ill, I knew she was ill for a while. And you know, she's passed now for seven years. Right. Um, and when my mom passed, it was about seven years ago, but before she passed, uh, he started having an influx of clients that were coming in that either with their moms passed just passed away or were going to pass away. Or the mothers themselves were passing away and coming as clients. And I realized in that because of the work I do, part of how I teach and train people is to be aware of your energetic matches. Right. And I was like, oh man, I think my mom's gonna pass away. And she was sick, and you're and she was sick, but she wasn't she didn't have an illness of death that would cause death. She just needed she just needed surgery and a little bit of treatment. Okay, okay. But my mom decided, yeah, I'm not gonna fight. Yeah, I'm not gonna take the treatment. How about that? I'll take it, but I'm gonna be done. I'm gonna be done. I don't want to do more. Right. And so my bot my mom passed. And I remembered I kept getting clients in that arena well over eight months after my mom died because I was still processing. Sure. You're still you were in it, and then it stopped. Then it stopped. I didn't really get that many clients in that growth that were in that vicinity of growth. But recently, my partner's mother has passed. And leading up to that, it started happening again.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

It started happening again. And I was like, oh man, no, say it ain't so and I knew, and I knew.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

Now my mom didn't pass the way any of my clients' moms have passed. No, it doesn't have to be identical now, right? It's the energy around it, it's still the growth period around that, right? Yeah, and my relationship with my mom was nothing like my clients' relationships with their mom, that was totally different, right? But the match was there was an unresolved grief that was about to emerge and process. And now that it's happening again, my my mother-in-law just passed away. I'm in the witnessing of my partner going through this, and I myself, I loved my mother-in-law. Yeah, so there's but it started happening.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Wow, again. And that's so interesting. And what I think this is what we were having the conversation around that brought it up, that brought this topic up. And I have noticed in the past where I will have clumps of clients of come, you know, like I had a I had I had a clump of clients that was like 70 plus year old women who were very wise spiritual teachers, all of a sudden, all of them coming to me and I'm like, what's happening? I've and and I I've had different examples of that over the year. And I noticed, I noticed that it was happening, but I didn't go the step beyond, like, because when you said it, I went, oh, they were mirroring something for me. Like I didn't, I didn't take it and I just noticed that there was the pattern happening. I didn't go, why is this pattern happening? And that's where it becomes valuable, where you can notice the pattern and then go, okay, how is this? What does this mean? Right. Right. And so when you notice when you said that, I went, Oh, right now I get it. They are, they're serving as mirrors for us.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Right. When when we bought our house, it was our first purchase. And it was when the market was hot, on fire here in Portland. Sure. And very competitive. People were outbidding like by hundreds of thousands of dollars. Right. Which is not a game I could have participated in.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

No.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

However, I had an influx of people started coming to me that were buying houses. Oh, wow. In Oregon, in California, in New York. And I was like, what the heck? So I started reading all these different people, all these different every market is different. And I learned so much. But my match was, oh, how do I get the house for them? How do I clear energy for them and get the house? And I ended up clearing the energy for our house.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

I was just gonna say, did that make big did that make you aware of the fact that you needed to clear the energy around it?

SPEAKER_03 6:45

A hundred percent. And so I intentionally would take notes after sessions of like I did this, this, and this for this client. Does that math or like structure work for what my needs are in my market? Right. And literally my realtor was like, this is the fastest closing I've ever had in history. Wow. Because you had cleared everything out of the way. Yep. I meant I I got I got the right amount of money gifted to me to get the house. But it's because I read it in someone else. You need 80,000, you need 50,000 down or whatnot. Then you can get the house. So blah, blah, blah. Right. Right. And it bam, it worked. Right. But I remember being like, ooh, and for that year, the year leading up to getting the house, my partner thought I was wild because I started packing up. Even though the loan officer was like, You guys got denied the loan. Why are you packing? You're driving your husband crazy. And I was like, Oh, we're moving by the end of the month. You're like, it's happening. And he's like, closing doesn't happen that fast. Even if you did get a yes on a house, you wouldn't be moving by the end of the month. I was like, Oh, yes, we are. And it did.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

And we did.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Yeah. We got money gifted to us, you know.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Thank you. Well, and that's amazing that you were able to see it, recognize it, and act on it that quickly. Because one of the things we were we we have on our bullet point here is the practitioner healer trap, right? Where you get in you get so in the energy that you can't read it for yourself, right? Right. And so what do you attribute being able to see that? Like just able to just make the connection.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Well, part of the trainings that I've had and and that I teach is that part of the training is to be aware of your energetic matches.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Okay, okay. And I love that energetic matches concept.

SPEAKER_03 8:31

Yeah, like you have to like if you're gonna be a practitioner, you're gonna you gotta know that you're gonna attract whatever energy you're in. And if you're in resistance, then you're gonna attract people that are in resistance to growth.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Oh, absolutely. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

Right?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Which is not bad. Then you can become aware of it. But I get a lot of clients that are sick healers. Oh, okay. And a lot of students that are like unwell in their practice because they're basically giving from an empty cup because they're not aware sometimes, right? Yep. That you could have been healing yourself as you're healing someone else. Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Oh, and that's something I became aware of quite some time back. It's like you have to accept, not that you're taking the healing away from your client, no, but you have to recognize where something resonates too. And I just kind of have this little thing I do if I see if I feel an energy match that I just say, and I accept this healing for myself as well. Oh, totally. And I just kind of, as I'm swiping, like I'll I'll just be like not in front, not not forefront, but like in the back, I'm just like, and this, I accept this, right? I think that's a good thing to be able to do.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Oh, absolutely. I think it in any modality in life, right? Now listen, if I have someone coming to me that is being, you know, stocked in like, you know, have handling all this energy around like people are following them, and you know, maybe they're perhaps have a lot of attention on them. I don't live that kind of lifestyle. No, and you don't want to, you don't want that energy. But my match wouldn't look the same. But maybe my match is oh, you have a lot of students' energy in your space still that are stalking you in a way. Not and I don't say that in a bad way, but like when you have a mentor, it's really easy to put your attention outside of yourself. Sure. So if I'm reading someone that feels really crowded, or is because I have people have come to me that have had like legal issues, stalkers, stuff like that. Oh, okay, yeah. And and I don't have a match to that. No, I don't have stock. Well, that doesn't mean not every client is gonna be a mirror. Like people are gonna come to you for healing. But the awareness of that was oh, right. I have I have fans, and how cool, let me move their energy back to them. Yeah, and then I can fill my cup more. Yeah. That was my match, but not everything is gonna be this core revolution either. Totally. But you are drawing in what what your vortex, your space is saying.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Absolutely. I think I think it's also important to, and I don't want to get too caught up in the healers because not everybody that's listening is a healer. A lot of people maybe are, but right, but but for people out there who are healers, I think it's incredibly important to a couple of things. First, notice when you're in some kind of down frequency and remember to use your tools that you have. Because I've recently, like, my like I we were having a conversation, my thyroid's acting up a little bit. And I kind of went, Oh, I'm not doing any of the things that I do to regulate that. I haven't been doing that. And so I know I can put my attention there and do the use my tools and improve it, but also just recognizing when you're in a state where you can't access yourself and you need to, you need to outsource. Like recently I reached out to you and said, How do I book a healing? How do I book a session? Because I recognized that I was too in my thing to be able to see it clearly and clear it for myself. Right. So it's like healers need healers too. So that's that's the message behind what I wanted to say. And I think it's important to to recognize when you get to a spot where you need to outsource something.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I've seen too many healers who are so ego-driven and caught up in the fact that they are healers, right, that they aren't able to accept healing from anyone else.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

Right. And and they'll learn whatever lesson they want to have.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Right. And that but I really do think it's important to show up for yourself, like you show up for your clients.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah, absolutely. You know, well, you can't serve your clients well if you're not if you're like you said earlier, pouring from an empty cup. You can't exactly you can't pour from an empty cup. You gotta you gotta pour from the saucer, from the overflow part. Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

So totally so yeah. One of the things I think that it it so for non-practitioners.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Yeah, let's zoom out a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

Yeah, let's go into the non-practitioners. When you're faced with a friend, let's say that's the I'd say probably the most neutral. Sure. Um and the your friend is in a crisis or in an energy that's really uncomfortable. Um, let's say they're in a toxic relationship and you're witnessing your friend be in a toxic relationship, it could be triggering. It could be uncomfortable, you might make boundaries, you might um not want to be in relationship to that friend while they're in that relationship and give ultimatums.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

And if you're not careful, you might absorb that energy, but exactly.

SPEAKER_03 13:18

Yeah, but but but those triggers are not because of your friend. They're your energetic match because there's something in you that's unhealed.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Maybe you had parents that were toxic to each other, or maybe a past relationship or a past that didn't get resolved.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Yeah. Right. And so it's so important, I think, to be conscious that when you are being triggered by someone else, it isn't someone else's responsibility to ease your trigger. Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

And they're not they're not responsible for it. It's not even about them.

SPEAKER_03 13:49

Exactly. It's not even about them. It's something that's unresolved in you. And the reason it's showing up outside of you that way is to give you an opportunity to clear it. Yeah. And that might be through therapy, it might be through a session with someone like you or myself or anyone that does any kind of healing work, it may be through meditation, but it is not the other person's responsibility to ease your trigger. Right. No, that's your healing to do. That's but also at some level your spirit lined that up uh for you to be triggered so you can clear it, and you're gonna continue to get triggered by it until you decide to heal it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Or you can avoid it. And that's the pattern, that's when patterns keep showing up. You keep attracting the same people. Then you if you if you are attracting the same people and you start noticing patterns in your relationships, there's something there that you need to look at within yourself. Totally. And I think we talked about this a little bit on our, I think I don't remember if it was our last time we talked, but when we were talking about judgment and relationships, and I'm this we may have talked about this, but when you're pointing the finger at someone or you find yourself judging someone, it's like you've got three fingers pointing back at you. Right. What is it within you that needs to be seen with that you're trying to project out onto other people?

SPEAKER_03 14:56

Yep. And judgment is judgment's a whole thing. Totally. And judgment usually, this is a really cool. I I catch myself if I'm in judgment.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

I I'm I'm pretty good at catching myself now, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

But what judgment But I didn't used to. Yeah. Same.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

And then one day I went, You are a judgmental bitch and you need to figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

I mean, I love reality TV half of the time, so I can judge away. You know what I mean? Oh, so you you have like outlets for it. Totally perfect. But what I'll say about judgment is it's usually judgment is you're judging someone because they have access to doing something you don't allow yourself to do.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Yep. Yep. Right? Yep. I remember talking about that when we were our other episode.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

So it's very much because you're closed down on something. And you actually don't want to be closed down and you're pissed that someone in front of you has access to something.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yeah. No, I could see that. Um, but yeah, I think it's important to notice when we're triggered really strongly by something, and this can be in relationship or it can just be um, it can be by relationships or just within a relationship. Like maybe you have a a situation that happens and all of a sudden you're like lashing out at this person. And then if you stop, you'll go, okay, that situation did not warrant that kind of response. That was a really fiery, strong response. And it's probably about some trapped thing that you, some trapped energy or emotion that you have from 20 years ago or 10 years ago or whatever, a different situation altogether. It's not the person standing in front of you that you just unleashed on.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

Totally. I have a friend that is actually how do I explain this? Listen, I think politics are a touchy subject in general. Sure. But my friend loses loses their shit over politics and like the misruling and the mistreatment and all of this.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

I have people like that in my world too.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

And and I get it, and they're not wrong. However, the reason it's such a big trigger for them is because they have a lifetime in this lifetime of being mistreated and being victimized. Therefore, anytime they see it outside of them, that makes sense. And it is fire on, which is good for them. Good for them. But they need to heal that, otherwise, it's just only going to be a trigger.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Well, it's never going to be growth. They're giving access to their energy with that. Like the, you know, I handle that stuff in a in a different way. Same. I have to, you know, it may sound bad to some people, but I kind of have to check out of it. I have to be able to hold space for my clients, and I can't hold space for someone else if I'm caught up in that energy. Right. Like for me, that's how I have to separate from it and just be like, okay. It's a it's it'll it'll work itself through.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

Right. It it but I do think in a lot of ways, you know, looking at being involved in politics is one thing, but energetically being invested in it, it's such a low vibration.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Totally.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

And I would neither one of us work from there.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

No, almost I have no space for that. No, that's why I just don't allow my energy to go do it at all.

SPEAKER_03 18:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

I'm just like, nope.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Yeah, I'm like, uh, not really right now. Are there injustices in the world? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Am I doing my part a hundred percent?

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah, because you're helping people heal that come to you that need that are ready that are ready, right? Yeah, same. Right. And that's that's my contribution, is that's what I do. Exactly. And that's what you have to do. But yeah, hold, I think being aware of what you're allowing to have access to your energy because and I've had an episode on this your energy is currency, yeah, and it's expensive, and you get to choose where you spend it, and it's like you're not gonna spend it on a low vibrational thing and stay in a high vibrational state, like it's just not gonna work out, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Yeah, yeah, good topic.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

So let's talk a little bit about relationships, that the relationships we have in our lives and being able to use them as places for self-discovery. Like, how can we dive deeper into our own self-discovery by looking at our relationships?

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Yeah, I do feel that when we allow ourselves to go in with curiosity and self-discovery when we're met with someone, right? I'll give you an example. I'm in this growth right now that I'm trying to trust my spirit more to lead a more spirit-led life. And that may sound like woo-woo or wild, right? But the part of my life I've worked really hard.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

I was gonna say your career is surrounded by being in currently. Yeah, like you're you're in contact with spirit. That's how you do your work all the time.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

And working really hard, like I was programmed to from a very young age, which I did. I was in a corporate world for a long time. Yeah, I remember that. And and it was quite a challenge to shift from working hard to trusting spirit.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

But I currently have friends that are in the work hard, I gotta work hard for real reasons. They're not wrong. Right. But my presence sometimes can be irritable to them. Oh. Because I'm in, I'm in a in in the wrong energy. In a different energy, in a different energy. I say wrong because that doesn't match the it doesn't right, right. The self-discovery part is oh, for me, I don't make them wrong for being irritated with me because I get it. I was in that other side of the dichotomy. However, what's really cool is I see myself in their hard work. Oh, gosh. And it allows me to have grace for them and myself and still let myself be where I am in my growth, totally. Which is a different path, right? And still allow that friendship or or relationship to flourish. It's just the pace will be set at a different pace, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

That's totally okay. Because we're human. And I I was just gonna say, like you you were telling me about this, and and it's like, you know, the friendship is fine. Oh, yeah. You don't feel connected to them right now, and you aren't, you know, whatever. You're you're uh operating from different places right now, but you also know the friendship is gonna be okay. Right. And so I think being able to recognize if you're in a conflict in a relationship, look at where you are. Like, are you operating from different places? Right is one of you in scarcity and the others in abundance and creativity. Right. Like it's like where where's the is it not matching? And it has it, you know, then look for the patterns of like, has it always been this way? Right. Or are we just shifted into a different spot and can we just be patient and wait to kind of align again? Like, and I think that's kind of an important thing to look at.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

Totally. And and and if you look at relationships, listen, we're human, we're not perfect, we're not always gonna be like, where can I grow in relationship to X, Y, or Z? No, no, but when you can get conscious, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Yeah, like brilliant moments of clarity. Totally.

SPEAKER_03 21:49

Like it's funny, I was in a drive thru um at a coffee place and I I've been going there, Dutch Brothers by my house. I'm like obsessed with a certain coffee they have.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Brothers is so fun. Okay, what are your plans today? What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Exactly. They like want to have deep conversation in the five minutes you they give you. And like you ask people, send me that coffee. Right. And they're like, the the the the coffee barista was dressed, I'm just gonna say, really bright. Okay. And I loved it. Okay. Um, but I was in a rush. I had to go back home and teach. Like it wasn't even responsible for me to leave the house anyway to go get coffee. Oh, okay. So I stopped talking about it. Like, I can make it work. And and for the first time ever, there's no one in line behind me, which never happens at Dutch Brothers. And they asked me, What are you doing today? I was like, Oh, I'm teaching. And they're like, What do you teach? And I was like, Well, they asked, and I'm like, Where we go? Teach psychic stuff. I teach people how to open up intuitively. And then they literally looked at me like literally completely blank. And they're like, Wait, what did you just say? And I had to say it like three times. And I was like, Oh, they really want to have this part of themselves, but there's an energy getting in the way. Right. And every time I say I do intuitive trainings, I'm poking at the thing that gets in the way, and they keep leaving their body and coming back.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

And I was like, wow, this is so fascinating. So I literally was like, You're like, actually, I'm gonna hang out here for a minute and probably hang out here for a minute and talk with this person and talked with them. And it turns out like they just came from a really for them, spirituality is directly connected to religion. Oh, okay. And every time I said intuitive training, all they heard was church. Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

And what's really funny I mean, I think a lot of people have the religious trauma going on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

But the energetic match was if you try and ask me how do I work hard, I can't give you an answer. Even though I have more 35 plus years of living that lifestyle, I can't give you that answer. But this this kid, because they were young, could give me that answer because they're making I don't know how many coffees so fast, all but they can't tell me shit about spirit because there's a block. And so it's like, how cool we're from two different worlds looking at each other, trying to see each other and not make each other wrong. Wow, yes. And how cool you're just someone I'm probably never gonna see you again. I come here three times a week. I've never seen you before, I probably never will see you again. There's always a new person here. Sure. Yeah, and how cool we had this exchange, but the self-discovery, like it's so much easier to judge. Judgment just takes you out of the experience, right? So it lean in and be like, what is the thing that's irritating me? What is the thing that I'm getting stimulated by here? Right. Good or bad, doesn't matter, you know?

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Right. Well, and that leads right into the everything happens for a reason conversation, right? Can I tell you because you know, does everything happen for a reason? I personally believe sure it does, but talked about the spiritual bypassing there because you were I I love how you talk about this.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

This fires me up. I know this fires me up. Let's go. So I do believe things happen for a reason, but there's an element recently, maybe in the last probably since COVID, where you know, there's a lot more context around spiritual work. So there's a shit ton of it's kind of a trend. It is, but there is a also an unhealthy trend, which is spiritual bypassing. Yep. I don't care what anyone tells you. You cannot just make your trauma disappear. Right. You gotta work through that. And I don't care what modality you use, the high vibes or no or it's like high vibes. Yeah, just think positive, everything's gonna happen. Maybe for like two percent. No.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Without shadow, there is no light. Exactly. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 25:53

So yeah, when someone says to me everything happens for a reason, I'm like, yeah, what's your reason?

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

And if you don't know the answer to that, I'm not gonna judge you for not having the answer to that, but you're missing something.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

You're missing you're missing something. Right? You can't just say everything happens for a reason and go on about your day. Right. You have to look at it and go, why did that happen? Right. What is it showing me? Is there growth here? Like, and and everything, this is there's a flip side to this too, because everything doesn't have to be a growth experience. Everything doesn't have to be a huge, like, are small things happening to create synchronicities in our life at every single moment. Yeah, they are, but we don't have to acknowledge every single one of them.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

But also don't ignore them either, I guess. So it's like there's a balance in there, right?

SPEAKER_03 26:39

Like the example I'll give. I have been the last seven weeks creating, writing, like working on these projects I I want to wrap up, but I've been running myself to the ground.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Well, okay. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

And I was like, oh, I need I need a break and I'm not listening to myself. I'll just work one more day. Yeah. But I'm not working hard. Again, I'm still taking my daily naps. You're like negotiating with it though. But but because I'm creating more than I normally do, I would need to rest more than I normally do. And because I didn't do that, I got sick.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:17

I have been sick. I still have a little bit of a rasp.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

That's what you said. You kind of got finished with a pr project, it wrapped up, and all of a sudden your body went, nope, no more.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

And and my colleague was like, Why are you sick? If I would have answered, you know, everything happens for a reason. I need a break, they would have looked at me like, all right, like I said, what is why? And the why for me, which I was very conscious of, is like, oh, my body was like, if you don't take a break, I'll make you take a break. And so I'm making you take a break. Right. Now, if I would have spiritually bypassed that, I'd be like, I got sick because I was in the airport. No, then what's the lesson in that? Right. Now I know when I have to create, I need to take more naps than I normally do. I do take naps.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Right. Well, and you're a projector orchestrator. And so it's like when you when you're using that energy, you have it for the things that that light you up for the right things. You do have the energy because I'm the same design type. We can match what what's there, but only to a certain degree. When you, you know, projectors, orchestrators are carrying, they're carrying collective energy without really even being mindful of it. And you're probably more mindful of it than most, but it's like it's a constant. And it's like you have to allow yourself to rest. And if you're doing extra output, you need to rest more. And it's easier in our culture, you know, we're in our society, we're we're like, oh no, resting's bad. You got to push, you got to hustle, you got to keep going. And it's even hard. Like, I even struggle sometimes myself to like be like, and I'm doing nothing right now. And my brain will start going, oh, but you got laundry in there, or you got new dishes, or you you you could go work on that project, or you, you know, you probably could get your charts set up for tomorrow's clients, whatever it is. Like, it's like there's there's this resistance that is just like, no, don't rest right now. Wait until you fizzle out completely. Yeah, it's that programming. It's the programming, it's so intense. Yeah. You have to just tell it to sit down and be quiet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

And I actually had to like deprogram myself from making because I'm I get really jazzed up if someone comes to me with a hot topic. Oh, sure. I'm like, oh, let's get into it, let's talk about it. Let's why do you think you're handling that?

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

Not in a way of solving or fixing them. No, but in a way of curiosity. Because I get I'm really curious of human experiences. Sure. And how people are processing it. Cause I don't think there's a wrong way of doing anything. No. But I had to really check my ass because I was spending a lot more time with my attention outside of myself on other people's shit than my own. My lifetime has been about that. Right. Now it's not like that even anymore. My life is not about my clients.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Programming is still gonna rear its head. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

I always have to be like, calm down, dragon.

unknown 30:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

It is not your time, you know? That's what I call it. Well, and that's that's another topic, too. Not all the mirrors in our lives are meant to be something for us to fix or figure out, right? Some of them are just kind of just kind of just showing up, right? It might be something that's gonna come up later, or just kind of lighting up a a a spark of something that might be something later, you know, that you want to deal with eventually, but it doesn't always have to be a right now thing either.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Mm-hmm. Exactly. And and and you can give yourself some grace to be in an experience. Yeah. So you might be in relationship to someone that's already in an experience you want to be in. I remember I remember I man, this this really did change my relationship with this person. Um they do similar work to me. Anyways, I I met for lunch and I was really excited about the house that we had gotten the house. We got money for a house, we were getting a house, and it was still fresh. We had just gotten approved, uh everything's in the works, and I meet up with this person for lunch, and I I very much admire them and love them. Um but I said to them everything that went that went on, the miracle of the money, the miracle, like the closing, the fast closing that we were talking about. Yeah. And their response and they deeply know me. They know my history. I come from very humble beginnings. And uh their response was, I don't understand why you're getting a house, and I've been wanting a house this whole time. And everyone around me gets what I want, and I never get what I want.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Oh, well, it's because you are carrying that energy.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

And I immediately was like, Whoa, what was that? Yeah, yeah. I just triggered them. What was that? And and immediately I was like, I could make this about them or I can make a choice to just pull out. Right. They're not ready for me to see me have more in my life, and they are not wrong. Okay, but I don't have to be in energy with this person anymore. And I didn't have a conversation.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Well, they're kind of stuck in a scarcity loop.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

But they've never been in scarcity. Oh, really? They come from a very wealthy family, they don't have to work. Oh, they can just swing it. Oh, okay. So I don't I was really confused.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

That is confusing. Because it sounds to me like they're blocking their own abundance by believing that everybody else is getting it and they're not. Like that's what that immediately feels like to me.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

Right. But or or they're making other people's wants and needs before their own. Oh, okay. Yeah. And and confusing everyone else's wants and needs to their own. Right. There's no separation. It gets really blurry. Okay. When you're working with people and you're or or even in relationship to other people and you're not really clear on your own wants and needs because you're so focused, the dragon is out. Right? Yeah. On everyone else's. Totally. So I feel I don't really think that they want a house. I don't think they ever really want a house, to be honest. Oh, okay. I think it was it was this thing of like we're getting the have. I'm not getting the have. But it had nothing to do with the house and everything to do with like a partner and a house and like this the sweet story they're trying to create for themselves. I was like, I'm not trying to trigger you. This is really weird. I thought we were gonna celebrate. Yeah, I'm definitely not gonna have a cocktail now, right? Yeah, but it was this energy of like, I don't have to solve what energy they hit. Right, right. And I don't have to punish them, I just have to finish my lunch and get the f out of here.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

So you just acknowledge you're just kind of like, okay, this is and I haven't had lunch with them since. Oh, okay. Or talk to them. So this wasn't a close friend or wasn't it was potential to be a close friend. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

I've known them for a long time, but it just I was like, oh, this is not in alignment, right? Like I I I think it's okay to to be witnessed in growth and someone that's not having, right? And the reason I know this dichotomy is because I was the one not having most of my life. Sure. Like my friends were taking family vacations, and I was like, Vacation? They what? I'm gonna listen to classical music all summer, yeah, and that will be my vacation. I know all about Beethoven and you know Mozart. Yeah, that will be that's how I traveled. Oh, right, like that's how I m made up for that. But I couldn't have the same way my my my surroundings were right, but I wasn't bitter or envious of it. I was more of like, well, how what can I do that would be a new experience? Sure. Right. And music can take you just about anywhere in the world if you wanted to. Yeah, no, definitely. And so that's how I did it. And that's a resilience that that you obviously have, yeah. But I don't think everyone has that. No, and it's not my I'm not no one to judge, but I don't have to participate. Right. You don't have to participate and you don't have to fix. And I don't have to fix her. No. And I and it just was a reality check on like, oh, it's okay that chapters end, books end with certain people when you evolve. And I think that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Totally because you'll attract well, and new mirrors. Exactly. You'll attract new mirrors, and and not all relationships are meant to last, and not all relationships are mirrors either, right? Right, you know, so it's like there's different, it's it's just all different. Totally. So man. And that's another thing is projectors. I mean, I'm I'm sure there's people that are listening that know their design type, or you can go to obviously my website and download it, but no plug intended there. I was just saying, um, as projectors, it's it's hard because you have to wait for the invitation to give people your knowledge, right? And so in that situation, you probably could see what was going on with your friend. And you probably could have gone, oh, hey, friend, actually, there's this, this, this, and this that's I see that's going on. And and if they have not asked you for your knowledge or what you see or what you know, they're probably not gonna receive it. They're probably not gonna be in a place where they're ready to hear what you have to say. And that's why projectors that that they're that they're that they're designed, their strategy is to wait for invitation, really have to wait for that invitation. Yeah. Because it's easy to know and be able to see what's going on and know the answers and be be feel feel like you want to give that answer to someone who has not asked for it.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Right.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

And that can go wrong because then you you know, you give them the answer and they're just they're just like they're not gonna hear it and things are gonna blow up.

SPEAKER_03 36:36

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And I don't think it's it's unethical to give people your answers. Right. Because they're your answers. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? Totally. People have to get their own answers, and sometimes their answers need to be messy.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

That sometimes they have to go through the process of the mess to get the answer, right? Right, right. So yeah. I mean, we've all been there. We've all been there, definitely. Uh I think another thing to talk about here is how mirrors show up during major transitions or major changes in our lives to pay attention to what mirrors show up then within that time, because it's gonna be a little bit different.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

Yeah, absolutely. You know, I what I would say is before I got married, I I remember reading, I started reading a bunch of people getting divorces, and I got really scared. I was like, oh my God, does that mean I'm gonna get a divorce and I'm not even married yet? Oh, and I was like, no, that can't be it. Right?

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Because that was the first thing I thought. Yeah, because you you've already been turned on to notice all these patterns, like, oh no, what this is gonna happen to me, all these people, okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

But what really what was happening is I was reading the the hiccups that relationships hit and and if there can be solution or resolution okay in those hiccups. Now, the relationships I were reading were like 20, 30 year relationships, right? Um, and people getting divorces after many, many years of being married. Right. And I remember thinking to myself, like, oh, and then I started hitting conflict in my relationship. Like every relationship hits conflict, of course. And I already had a pocket full of ideas, tools, and things to reflect back on. Ah, that you've gathered that I gathered through your clients before I got married. I was like, oh, I just need more of this amusement, or I need, oh, I need more, I need to access my female energy and turn that on more. Or oh, I'm turning into a mother. Right. He's not my child, right? Like and I re like that's been for me. I think when you're in a huge amount of growth, right, something huge transitioning, everything around you will kind of pivot to support that decision.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

So they're giving it's giving you tools, right? The universe is like actually just handing you the tools to get through, and it could be just in conversation. You know, I think about this transitions that I've recently been through, and it's like things really did all line up for me in a lot of different ways, and they still continue to, and I'm noticing it. Um and and like you said, it's like that I can see now that I was being shown things through my clients and the things that they were going through too, and through other people in my life. Right. That now I can reflect on and and be like, oh, that that little piece I can use, right? Right. So yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

And it's really remarkable, I think, that and this is where spirit led, if you really really want to be conscious, uh and I don't mean in a perfect way, yeah. I mean like just get conscious to like if you're going through a huge life change, what are the things that are appearing in front of you to help you? Exactly. Right. And it could, it could be that the help listen, the help might be that you're triggered. Okay, yeah, for sure. Right? Because I was getting triggered. I was getting in hitting fear. Am I making the wrong decision by because I was reading all these breakups? Right. But actually hadn't I didn't have a I was very sure that I was marrying the right person. I still am very sure of that. Right. However, the hiccups, the pickups they were hitting were micro for me. And that's where it was helpful. But even though it freaked me out.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

But they were showing you areas where you needed to grow 100%. Right. Like so it's like they were a blessing. Totally, you know, it might feel not so much at the time. But but once you work through it, it's like, okay, that needed healed. Totally.

SPEAKER_03 40:40

Even friends I had were like going through massive, massive things were happening. And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. It's like everyone's falling apart around me, but it had nothing to do with my relationship falling apart. It had everything to do with like, oh, these are the areas that got triggered in those relationships. This is why they're falling, they didn't work through those. Right. And oh, I have a match to that, that, and that, you know, to clear it.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

And and you can view it as like as a as a like almost as a supporting right energy of like now, you're seeing all these different scenarios and they don't all match you exactly, but you can take pieces from them and be able to use it to get through whatever it is that you're going through at the time, too.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

So wild. It's so wild. But I think it's important to be able to look around. And you, you know, you just said something a minute ago that was about, you know, being conscious, and it we're humans, right? None of us are conscious all the time. Exactly. Even you connected to spirit all the time. You still have a body, and you still have to go to the gym and work out. And I know you hate it so much. Like we've talked, we've had this conversation, but it's like nobody's gonna be conscious all the time, right? And and then there's no level of spirituality to where you're just in this perfect zen evolved state that you're gonna reach to where you're evolved, and it's like it doesn't, it's not how it works. No, I you're still in a body, and I really think it is fun to be unconscious, it's totally fun to be unconscious and not have to think about all that, right?

SPEAKER_03 42:05

Totally, yeah. Totally. So like I love to dance. I don't drink anymore, but I used to. Right. And I love that, you know, like I think it's fun to go disconnect also. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

Um, and you can disconnect other ways. I don't drink anymore either. And it's like the there's there, you have to find if you're in that in that zone where you're deciding whether you want to use alcohol or not, you know, whatever, no judgment. But it's like when you if you decide not to, you kind of do have to find other ways to be able to get in that same energy of just joy and disconnection because our society is so alcohol-based in so many ways. There's happy hours, there's contacts, you know, cocktails with dinner. There's totally it's all that that's how people relax. And yeah, and it does take a little bit of consciousness to find new ways to become uncultural. Right? Like totally. It's like, and that might be watching reality TV or dancing or singing, or you know what I mean? It's totally it's gonna be different for everybody.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Like, I this week, actually, I just had um uh my partner and I made a delicious dinner. We were celebrating. I launched this class I've been working on for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Congratulations, by the way. I got the newsletter and saw that. I was like, soft plug, soft plug, soft plug, soft plug. You can plug at the end, but yeah, people can go figure out what it is.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

But I I I asked my partner, I was like, hey, should I get a bottle of wine? Oh, and and they were like, Oh, we're let's do it. Okay. And so I had two glasses of wine and it was like normal pour, not like to the top, okay? Okay. Um, I'm not judging you. I'm just saying that used to be my pour, like, fill it up.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

All the way to the top of the glass.

SPEAKER_03 43:44

Empty the bottle in one glass, you know. That's not that's not that was not the case. I had two regular glasses, but after my second glass, like, oh, I'm buzzed. I can't drink anymore. Yeah, and I had a blast, but I passed out. I went to bed. Yeah, because I like I just can't handle it. But it was fun. Yeah, it was fun. I mean, it falls up to me. I'm a wild child that was like, let's go out, let's go through the streets. I would I'd much rather have had that glass of wine and a shot of tequila out somewhere. Right. Um, but that my partner's like, get the heck out of here with that. No, I just made a steak dinner, you're gonna eat here, you're gonna eat here.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

We're gonna have like well, I think this has been a really valuable conversation. I think people can walk away kind of looking at who's in your life, what your relationships might be showing you, patterns that might be showing up over and over again, and kind of just sitting and thinking about what what what are what are they showing you? What are these people in your life showing you? Areas of growth, things about yourself, just noticing that.

SPEAKER_03 44:44

Yeah, yeah. And I think going through life with a little bit more ease and grace. Totally. So you're not caught in making yourself wrong or someone else wrong, and it can really step into just being like, I'm in an experience, and it is what it is, and I can change it if I want to.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

Yep, you know, right. And you can once you recognize some of those patterns that are showing up too, you won't have to keep repeating them exactly in a lot of ways. So exactly. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming today, Shayla. Do you want to plug your website, your school, all that stuff real quick?

SPEAKER_03 45:18

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. Of course. It's always so fun to be with you. Yes, it's always good. Always good. So I am Shayla de Jesus um from Psychic Shine. Um, I do intuitive readings and I also teach internationally online at Clarity School. All of that you can find on my website at psychicshine.com. Or you can follow me on Instagram on psychic.shine.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

Nice. Love it. Yeah. Thanks so much. Thank you. Hopefully, I'll see you again soon. Yeah.